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Akin are easily the most stupid named beasts in this land. Stories as to how they became saddled with this moniker lead us to believe that when described they were told to be; “Akin to dragon whelps, only not.” Akin to dragon whelps only not? That’s the stupidest load of horse dung I’ve heard this side of the marshlands. Akin.
It would also seem that the caravan, a name also as stupid and inaccurate as akin as we do not caravan… at all… the caravan has been split in two, a move I find quite stupid and ultimately annoying. Allegedly we’re to be pit against one another in various games of might and magic but who can really know what in the hell Cr’itoo thinks he’s doing. Useless twit. Useless annoying twit. Akin, I still can’t get over how stupid that name is.
*there is a small solitary game scratched out here, and a poorly drawn horse leaping over a rock or a pond or something drawn near the edge of the page*
Dragons. Dragons are odd because when people ask where I came from I generally have to ask for a map. That map will almost always only have the Kingdom and some outlaying villages on it. Anything beyond that is just left blank and labeled “Here thar be dragons” and they draw a dragon terrorizing a village or something.
*you realize the above drawing is of a dragon terrorizing a village, not a horse leaping over anything*
So I’m inevitably forced to just jab wildly at the map and say “There!” because hell if I know where exactly I came from in a vast land of non-existence that surrounds the Kingdom. To which I’m always greeted with a look that, to me, would be more appropriate if I had said I had came from a goblins arse. “You come from there?” they babble; “Surely not, no, impossible, no one is alive out there.” To which I have to disagree and am then bombarded with questions about how I survived the dragons and how a savage like me ended up in the Kingdom. Savage, another word as stupid as akin. If we’re savages then why is it that the villages of the “great void” seem to be the only ones that can steadily churn out spellslingers while the “high kingdom” seems content with stout brutish warriors?
It’s all beside the point though.
And I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to write. I long for a spud, I find that with pyre majiks they make excellent explosive projectiles.
Or something like that.
